the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize