He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I need to calm my uterus...
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
