What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Randomize
