your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
