I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
