and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
