K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
