Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
