brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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