: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
