do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
