Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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