I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
