remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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