I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
The power of my boobs compel you
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
