i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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