If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
