Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
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