I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
They are going to name an STD after you.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
