My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
