You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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