imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
