There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
