I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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