Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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