I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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