I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
