i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I pour the whiskey from now on
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
