I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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