It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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