You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
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