I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i out mim tonsoeep
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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