oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
