Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Someone came in the potted fern
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
