the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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