; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
