question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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