He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She even gives head with a lisp.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
