okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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