I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
