To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
do herpes really smell.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It's blow job season.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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