If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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