PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
