she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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