Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
