he wants to bone in the snuggie
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
