I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize