In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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