And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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