Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
When did we convert life to cartoon?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
