Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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