ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
