You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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