guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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