think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
