Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
