I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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