Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
