how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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