just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
