my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
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