when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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