And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
